“On” Energy and When to Turn Off

Understanding “On Energy” and Why It Drains You

Today I want to talk about something I call on energy.

I was up on the roof of a cabin I’ve been re-roofing—hard, physical work. Carrying shingles. Hammering nails. Balancing on a ladder.

And yet… I felt completely relaxed.

Which led me to a question:

What actually makes us feel relaxed?

Because during the work week, we feel stress. Pressure. Fatigue.

But here I was—working hard—and feeling calm.

It’s Not About Rest

We often assume relaxation comes from rest.

• Sleeping in
• Doing nothing
• Taking a break

But that doesn’t fully explain it.

Hiking is hard work. Sweaty. Bug-filled. Physically demanding.

And yet it’s relaxing.

Working on a project you enjoy? Also relaxing.

So if effort isn’t the problem… what is?

The Real Drain: “On Energy”

What we’re often trying to escape isn’t work.

It’s on energy.

On energy is what happens when you’re trying to come across a certain way.

When you’re managing your image.

When you’re “on.”

In leadership presence coaching and presentation skills for professionals, this is one of the biggest hidden drains on performance and well-being.

Why “On Energy” Is So Exhausting

When you’re in on energy, your brain is doing two things at once:

• Outward focus: reading the room, observing people, tracking reactions
• Inward focus: monitoring yourself—posture, tone, facial expressions, delivery

You’re essentially managing two streams of awareness simultaneously.

And that takes a tremendous amount of energy.

This is a key concept we address in business development communication training and executive presence training.

The Five Modes of Presence

Most people don’t realize how often they’re shifting between different versions of themselves.

There are at least five:

• Off-duty presence (your natural state)
• Professional presence
• Screen presence (virtual meetings)
• Stage presence (presentations, interviews)
• Hybrid presence (in-room + virtual audiences)

Each one requires adjustment.

Each shift costs energy.

And in presentation coaching and AEC presentation skills, we see how constant switching can wear people down over time.

Why the Weekend Feels Different

When you’re working on something physical, creative, or personal:

• You’re not managing your image
• You’re not tracking how you’re coming across
• You’re not performing for others

You’re just… being.

No split focus.

No internal monitoring.

No “on energy.”

That’s what creates the feeling of calm.

What This Means for Your Work

If you’re constantly exhausted, it may not be the workload.

It may be how often you’re “on.”

In business development coaching and interview skills training for professionals, we help people reduce that internal friction by:

• Building more natural communication habits
• Reducing over-monitoring of delivery
• Shifting focus outward toward helping others

The result?

Less energy spent on managing yourself…

And more energy available for real connection.

Final Thought

Maybe the goal isn’t to stop working.

Maybe the goal is to spend less time being “on.”

Because when you can turn that off—even while working hard—you might find yourself feeling more relaxed than ever.