The Yin & Yang of Building Strong Business Relationships
In a previous vlog, I talked about the yin and yang of relationship-building. The “hard” side involves aligning on goals, demonstrating expertise, proving value, and building a strong track record—everything that supports effective business development and trust. But the “human” side requires softer skills: shared values, genuine curiosity, caring about what drives someone, and showing real leadership presence.
Today, I want to share the how—a systematic method I didn’t know I had until years of coaching and presenting finally revealed it. It’s the same process I use in presentation skills training, in networking coaching, in high-stakes conversations, and yes… even in a moment years ago when someone tried to mug me. (Spoiler: we parted with a handshake.)
Start With the Right Vibe: Confidence + Warmth
Every relationship begins with the energy you bring into the room. I aim for confident eye contact—steady, grounded, present. Confidence is universally respected. But confidence alone can come off steely, so I pair it with joy, appreciation, and warmth. That warmth is rooted in something deeper: self-love.
You bring self-love because the other person doesn’t love you yet—you just met. If you lack it, your neediness shows. They feel the burden of having to “rescue” you. But if you don’t need anything from them—not approval, not validation—you create space for authentic connection.
The Three-Step Method
This simple process works in interviews, business presentations, BD conversations, or any moment you want meaningful human connection:
1. Chat
Begin casually. Talk with them, not at them. Listen for something soft—something human.
2. Compliment Something Soft
Not their résumé. Not their achievements. Their yin—a value, a kindness, a generosity, a sensitivity. Complimenting something soft builds trust quickly. It tells them you see who they are, not just what they do.
3. Make a Vulnerable Admission
Briefly share something imperfect about yourself—a moment you didn’t live up to the value you admired in them. Vulnerability invites vulnerability. Then return to a confident, positive tone so your admission doesn’t become neediness.
Why It Works
These three steps instantly shift you both into deeper human territory. You access the yin side of the relationship—the part people usually take months or years to reach. But when the core of relationship is vulnerability, you don’t need time… you just need intention.
This method accelerates rapport in client presentations, shortlist interviews, team leadership, and business development conversations. It’s a cornerstone of strong presence coaching because it helps you connect human-to-human, not expert-to-expert.
The result: authentic relationships built quickly, grounded in trust, warmth, and confident presence.
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