So many of us actively hate to get in front of an audience to talk about anything. Why is that? And what can we do about it, especially when we’re in a situation where we have to do it? In this post, Pete shares his thoughts about the single most important thing you can do to end the hate, and embrace the opportunity.
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I was at a graduation event recently—the final session of a training program for a group of construction professionals. I was only there as an observer, but toward the end, each participant stood up to share two things they had gained from the program. Out of the 18 graduates, at least a dozen openly admitted that they hated getting up in front of the room to speak. Interestingly, many of those same people said they now hated it less because of the program.
That contrast made me think: why do people hate public speaking so much? Why is getting up in front of others so uncomfortable? In leadership presence coaching, AEC interview preparation, and executive presentation coaching, we see this constantly. The core reason is simple: we judge others, and we judge ourselves—and the people who judge most harshly tend to fear judgment the most.
The truth is, people do judge us—and we judge them. It’s human nature. But the problem arises when we stand up in front of a group and put our attention on the fact that we’re being judged. That’s when presence collapses. Confidence drops. Anxiety spikes. And suddenly communication feels unsafe, whether it’s a shortlist interview, a sales pitch, or a leadership presentation.
So the question becomes: how do we move past the fear of judgment? How do we stay present and grounded when all eyes are on us?
The first step is to accept that judgment exists. The second—and most crucial for confident presence—is to give yourself a mission. Your mission must be about serving your audience. This is a foundational principle in AEC presentation skills, business development coaching, and executive presence coaching.
When your mission shifts from “How am I being judged?” to “What am I here to give these people?” everything changes. Your attention turns outward. The audience stops feeling like judges and starts feeling like people you’re here to help.
At the graduation event I watched, speakers became stronger and more confident the moment they expressed appreciation. When they thanked the program leader or acknowledged their team, their body language softened, their tone warmed, and their confidence rose.
This is a powerful leadership communication tool. Appreciation pulls your attention outward, creates warmth, and boosts your natural screen presence—whether you’re speaking live, virtual, or hybrid.
The next time you speak—whether in an AEC shortlist interview, a business development meeting, or a high-stakes leadership presentation—set your mission before you begin. Decide what you want your audience to gain or understand. That mission will give you a stronger foundation than fear ever will.
If you adopt this mindset consistently, your public speaking anxiety will go down, your leadership presence will rise, and your ability to communicate with confidence will grow exponentially.
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