Leaders face a conundrum: Do I share my personal struggles, or stick to my successes? They want to come across strong, but they sometimes misunderstand the relationship between the perceived threat of vulnerability and the strength that results from actually humbling yourself. Check out Dean’s latest post to hear how he recommends threading that needle.
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Leaders want to come across strong—but they also want to come across human. That creates a conundrum: to share or not to share? My answer is simple—share.
When leaders share personal stories, they pull their team members closer. But many hesitate, wondering, “Is this too personal? Too sensitive? Will it make me look weak?” They want to project confidence, strength, and control. Ironically, the way to achieve that often comes through humility—sharing your vulnerabilities and being open about your struggles.
I once saw a leader tell a story about getting ready for a road trip to an expensive resort in his brand-new Porsche. As he described the car with pride, lightning struck a nearby tree, which then fell onto the Porsche. The problem was, no one in the audience empathized. The story—meant to show vulnerability—only created distance. It highlighted the gap between his life and theirs, and instead of drawing people closer, it alienated them.
Another leader told a very different kind of story. He’d rented a car for a final, relaxing day after a long business trip with his wife. They set out for what they thought was a scenic mountain drive—but it turned out to be an off-road trail, meant only for lifted vehicles and Jeeps. With no way to turn back, they had to press forward through rocks, water, and steep climbs. It was terrifying. But they stuck with it—white-knuckled, determined—and finally reached the summit.
He shared how unprepared he had been, how he’d failed to do the research, and how his mistake turned into an unexpected challenge that taught him resilience and adaptability. His humility made the story relatable—and the business lesson clear: even poor decisions can lead to growth if you persevere.
That second story worked because it was real. It revealed imperfection, showed perseverance, and connected emotionally. When leaders open up about the missteps, bad calls, and lessons learned along the way, they don’t lose authority—they gain credibility. They make themselves stronger through vulnerability.
So yes, share your struggles. Tell the stories that show you’re human. Align them with your message and make sure they connect to your audience’s challenges. Vulnerability doesn’t make you weaker—it makes you authentically strong. It builds trust, relatability, and real leadership presence.
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