Trust can be hard to earn, slow to develop, and quick to lose. For years, Dean has talked about the role empathy plays in building and sustaining trust, but here he describes the role strength plays in a more complete equation.
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Trust is something I’ve always associated with empathy. As a teacher, I move through the world sharing ideas, offering value, and bringing the SagePresence curriculum to life. Along the way, I’ve received meaningful feedback—one of my favorites came from our advertising agency, Russell Herder, who once said we offer “unconventional wisdom for extraordinary results.” I love that. But today I want to share something I learned from someone else on our team.
Ellen Reiters, our SagePresence Master, helped me see a part of trust I had never fully recognized. My instinct has always been to build trust by trusting others—meeting them with empathy, feeling what they feel, connecting emotionally. That’s still true. But Ellen helped me understand that trust doesn’t grow from empathy alone. There’s a second ingredient: strength.
Empathy is the emotional bridge. It’s how we meet people in a caring, human space. The human experience is shaped not just by what we think, but by how we feel about what we think. Empathy lets us feel the way others feel about their experiences, ideas, and concerns. It communicates care, leadership presence, and genuine connection—qualities that strengthen presentation skills, business development relationships, and client conversations.
What I hadn’t fully appreciated is that people also trust strength. Not dominance or bravado—but conviction, clarity, and steadiness. You can’t lean on someone who feels unanchored. But someone who stands firmly in what they believe, even amid uncertainty—that is someone others trust. Strength provides a kind of internal compass people instinctively follow during high-stakes communication.
I often talk about “command and nurture”—two forces that create balance. Strength and empathy mirror that same dynamic. Empathy shows you care. Strength shows you’re centered. Together, they create the presence people rely on during leadership communication, project interviews, and high-pressure client presentations.
Whether you’re preparing for AEC shortlist interviews, presenting to stakeholders, or building business development relationships, trust is always the currency. Clients won’t gain confidence from uncertainty. They need to feel both your care and your conviction. Your empathy tells them you understand. Your strength tells them you can lead.
So when trust matters most, bring both qualities forward. Show the strength of your commitment and the caring connection of your empathy. Together, they create the leadership presence of someone who is truly trustworthy.
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