How to Work With a Team Member Who Wants to Do it THEIR Way

Managing Overconfidence in Teams Without Killing Momentum

Most of the time, when we work with engineering firms, we hear the same challenge:

“Our people need more confidence.”

But occasionally, we hear the opposite.

“Our engineers are overconfident… and it’s hurting the team.”

This creates a very different dynamic—one that shows up clearly in AEC presentation skills, business development training, and pursuit strategy.

The Real Problem Isn’t Confidence—It’s Imbalance

In these situations, engineers are deeply solution-oriented.

They believe they know the right way forward.

And they often push hard in that direction.

The result?

• Head-butting within the team
• Marketing and BD voices getting drowned out
• Proposals filled with dense, technical detail
• Interviews that overwhelm instead of connect

Eventually, others either push back… or give up.

And when they give up, the team loses balance.

Why This Hurts Communication

The issue isn’t technical expertise.

The issue is communication.

Selection committees aren’t looking for the most data.

They’re looking for:

• Clarity
• Perspective
• A compelling point of view

This is why presentation coaching and business development communication training focus so heavily on strategy—not just content.

The Wrong Approach: Trying to “Fix” the Engineer

It’s tempting to push back directly:

“This isn’t working. You need to change.”

But that usually creates more resistance.

Because from their perspective…

They’re solving the problem.

The Right Approach: “Yes, And”

Instead of shutting them down, we recommend a “yes, and” approach.

It sounds like this:

“Go ahead and organize your thoughts the way you want to. That’s going to be valuable for the body of the proposal.”

Then…

“And can we set aside time to work on the strategy together?”

This approach does two important things:

• It gives them space to do what they’re driven to do
• It introduces a second layer the team needs

This is a core tactic in business development coaching and interview skills training for professionals.

Separate the Two Conversations

The key is to separate:

• Details (the “body”)
• Strategy (the “frame”)

Engineers often default to the body:

• Data
• Process
• Solution specifics

But what the team needs first is:

• A clear point of view
• A strategic angle
• A compelling way to frame the project

This is what drives strong openings in proposals and interviews—something emphasized in presentation skills for professionals and leadership presence coaching.

Make It About the Team

When you introduce the strategy conversation, position it this way:

“This is what the team needs.”

For example:

“Right now, we don’t have a clear strategy. We need a point of view that sets up everything you’re building in the details.”

This shifts the conversation from:

“You vs. me”

To:

“What does the team need to win?”

Why This Works

This approach works because it doesn’t try to change the person.

It adds to what they’re already doing.

• They get to express their expertise
• The team gets the strategic layer it needs

And over time, this creates alignment instead of conflict.

Final Thought

When strong personalities dominate a pursuit, the goal isn’t to shut them down.

It’s to channel their energy.

Give them room to do what they do best.

Then layer in what the team needs to succeed.

That’s how you move from conflict… to collaboration… to results.