The Missing Skill in Many Technical Presenters
I was working with a room full of architects recently, helping them strengthen their interview and presentation skills. I ran into something I’ve seen for years: many technically minded professionals don’t have an easy facility with emotion words.
When I’d ask, “How does your prospect feel in that situation?” the response was something like, “Well, they’d feel like they’re in that situation.” Highly intellectual language—no emotional connection. And that matters more than people realize.
Emotion Actually Drives Decisions
Even the most rational human beings make decisions emotionally. Every buying choice—yes, even multi-million-dollar project decisions—comes with an emotional transition. People say “yes” when they feel relief, clarity, confidence, excitement, or trust.
So when you’re pitching, selling an idea, or proposing a strategy, you need to think about two emotional states:
- How do they feel right now?
- How do they want to feel instead?
You Don’t Have to Ask the Questions Out Loud
You won’t literally ask a client, “How do you want to feel?” But you should ask yourself—and your team—these questions as you prepare.
What’s their current frustration? Pressure? Risk? Anxiety? What situation is creating discomfort? And on the flip side, what emotional outcome would represent success? Confidence? Relief? Momentum? Alignment?
Shape Your Language Around Their Emotional Shift
Once you understand the emotional “from → to,” you can speak a language that resonates. Ideally you’ve gathered some of this insight through past conversations or insider information, so it’s grounded in reality—not guesswork.
When you speak to where they are emotionally and where they want to be, they feel understood. They think, “These folks get me. They understand my situation. They know what I want to experience—and their service will take me there.”
None of this needs to be conscious on their end. It simply works. Because at the end of the day, emotion is how you sell to anybody.
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