“Smile more” is a common piece of advice we give to each other around presentations and important interactions. In today’s vlog, Dean explores why this is a potentially problematic suggestion, and how to improve upon it.
“Smile more” is a common piece of advice we give to each other around presentations and important interactions. In today’s vlog, Dean explores why this is a potentially problematic suggestion, and how to improve upon it.
“Smile more.”
We’ve all heard it. We’ve probably said it.
And most of the time… it doesn’t work.
Because smiling isn’t the source.
Happiness is the source. Smiling is just the output.
Think about school photos.
You’re 11 years old. Someone says, “Smile.”
You do it…
And it looks completely unnatural.
Because:
You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake the feeling behind it.
People can see the difference instantly.
What actually works is this:
Practice being happy.
Not as a personality trait—
As a skill.
As a choice.
As a muscle.
Right now, I’m talking into a lens. No one’s here.
And I’m choosing to be happy.
Because I’ve practiced it.
In presentations, pitches, and tough conversations…
your emotional state shows up whether you want it to or not.
When you can access happiness intentionally:
And here’s the key:
You can be happy while talking about serious things.
It’s not about being bubbly.
It’s about being grounded and positive at the same time.
The real win isn’t being happy when things are easy.
It’s being able to access a version of happy when things are hard.
Think about this mindset:
“Alright. This is tough. Let’s do this.”
That’s a form of happy.
It’s not celebration.
It’s positive readiness.
This isn’t about being happy all the time.
There are moments for:
In fact, being overly happy in the wrong moment can undermine you.
But here’s the difference:
You have access to happiness when you choose it.
That’s control.
When you practice this, something powerful happens:
Even in difficult situations—
conflict, tension, unpredictable conversations—
you can stabilize the moment by choosing your state.
This doesn’t happen automatically.
It comes from practice.
Ask yourself regularly:
“Can I find my happy right now?”
And then do it.
Not perfectly. Not constantly.
But consistently enough that it becomes available when it matters.
Don’t ask your team to smile more.
Teach them how to access happiness.
Because when people can choose their emotional state—
especially under pressure—
they become more powerful, more influential, and far less shakeable.
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