Have you ever had the experience of speaking up and instantly regretting it? As an intuitive communicator who leads with his emotions, Dean has plenty of experience in this arena. In today’s post, he shares his take on three simple and useful questions to consider before you share.
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Have you ever over-shared? It’s a familiar plight for those of us who are expressive, emotionally aware, and wired to think out loud. Our thoughts and feelings show up in real time—and when we look back on the moments we regret, they often tie to coming in too fast, too deep, or too intensely. I’ve lived a lot of my life cleaning up after my own over-expression.
I recently read an article by Justin Bariso about how emotionally expressive people can better manage themselves, and he shared three simple questions worth passing along. I want to offer them to you—with a couple of key modifications.
Good questions—but they’re limited. They only deal with words. And for expressive people, communication isn’t just verbal. You can stay silent and everyone can still read exactly what’s going on with you. Your face, your tone, your posture—they all speak.
So instead of “said,” I want to use the word expressed. That widens the scope and gives you a little more intentional control over your presence, especially when your emotional signals are naturally loud and visible.
Try these instead:
And I want to offer one more adjustment: change the order entirely. The best sequence—the one that actually helps expressive people manage themselves in the moment—is this:
This gives you room to pause—not to shut yourself down, but to become more intentional with your authenticity. I’ve never been a fan of the poker face. I don’t like suppressing emotion or hiding who I am. But I’ve learned that timing matters. Pacing matters. The play-by-play of your inner world doesn’t always need to come through in real time.
You know those moments where you look back and wish you had slept on it before acting? That’s what these questions protect you from. Sometimes the expression is right—but the moment isn’t. A little delay can change everything.
So try these three questions the next time your impulses flare:
Does this need to be expressed? Does it need to be expressed now? Does it need to be expressed by me?
They won’t dim your authenticity—they’ll sharpen it. They’ll help you communicate with intention, power, and presence.
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