Do You Overshare?

[Music] foreign have you ever over shared the plight of the expressive emotionally intelligent people emotionally aware people expressive people we often are our thoughts and feelings are coming out in real time where think out loud kinds of people and as one of them when I look back on life at what I regret a lot of times my regrets or my embarrassment it ties to having overshared I came in too quick I came in too intensely I came in too deep I said more than I should have I over shared so I was reading an interesting article uh recently by Justin barriso and the article was about emotional people and how they could better manage themselves and he had three simple questions that I thought were useful to share with you and then I want to modify them just slightly the three questions that he offered that you ask yourself in moments where oh that question of oversharing comes up on your radar the first one is does this need to be said maybe it doesn’t need to be said at all second question is does it need to be said by me I could wait and see if someone else covers it and thirdly does it need to be said now these are three really good questions I like them the modifications I want to suggest is when you hear those questions it sounds a little bit well entirely about what you’re saying your words and I think what you communicate is broader than that so if you change the word said to express expression includes a broader part of the language a lot of times I choose to hold back and I don’t say anything and everybody knows what I’m thinking anyway because you can read me like a book because my emotions show through my body language and you know what I’m thinking so if you translate that to expression here here’s how it comes out does this need to be expressed does this need to be expressed by me does this need to be expressed now that includes gives more latitude for the part of communication that isn’t verbal the next modification I want to make is I want to switch the sequence a little bit think about it this way the best sequences I see it is does this need to be expressed then does this need to be expressed now and third does this need to be expressed by me and that sequence has allowed me to manage myself a little better trying to get to a place where I can be free to be expressive I am not a fan of Poker Face I’m not a really big fan of holding back my authenticity I’m brave enough and daring enough to share but I can manage this a little better think of the times when you just wish oh I should have slept on that before I took action some Advanced processing may change how you stand so the play-by-play expression of everything you’re thinking can be hazardous so try these things and see if you can help generate a little bit more intentionality around what you express and what you don’t express or when you express it you might just save it for later those are the three questions does this need to be expressed does it need to be expressed now and does it need to be expressed by me