No matter who you are in your firm or where you are in your career, your ability to work effectively with other people is profoundly valuable. In today’s post, Pete suggests that the single most important thing you can do to manage how you do that is to pay attention to baggage.
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Today I want to make a plea: check your baggage. No matter who you are—senior leader, manager, team member, interview participant, or someone simply trying to perform under pressure—your interactions with others can stir up old emotional patterns. Interviews, job demands, client expectations, or unmet results can all jostle that internal baggage.
By “baggage,” I mean the lifetime of interactions you’ve accumulated. You’ve been disciplined and have disciplined others. You’ve experienced power dynamics, criticism, pressure, and conflict. All of that history shapes how you hear things, how you interpret meaning, and how quickly you get upset. When certain buttons get pushed, your past is often what’s reacting—not the present moment.
My encouragement is to become aware of this process. Notice when your buttons get triggered. Notice when you’re interpreting something through the lens of past experiences rather than present reality. If you’re a leader, you’ve likely had coaching or training that taught you to examine your triggers, but even if you haven’t, this awareness is essential.
Remember: you have baggage, the person you’re interacting with has baggage, and your baggage is not theirs. Your histories are different, your sensitivities are different, and your triggers are different. Awareness is the only way to prevent those differences from derailing communication.
Your first job is to manage your own baggage—to check it, understand it, and keep it from spilling into your interactions. Your second job is to communicate in ways that avoid triggering others whenever possible. Notice the moments when someone else’s baggage is getting bumped, and take responsibility for the impact your words or actions may be having.
This isn’t about perfection; it’s about intention. When you stay mindful of what’s happening for you and what might be happening for them, you prevent misunderstandings, reduce upset, and protect team effectiveness.
When you keep this in mind, pressure doesn’t have to break anything. It doesn’t have to damage relationships or communication. You can steer interactions in a positive, constructive direction—even under stress—simply by being aware of the emotional dynamics at play. Check your baggage, honor theirs, and pilot the moment with intention.
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