The stress of presenting, selling, and speaking in front of the group, can trigger self-consciousness that put your attention in the wrong place and round everything that you say downward. Image consciousness is better, as we all want to project a positive self but not be so worried. Here’s how.
The feeling of confidence is widely misunderstood. Most people think confidence is something you summon from within, but in client-facing work—whether you’re preparing for shortlist interviews, delivering presentation skills training, or navigating high-stakes conversations—confidence actually shows up most naturally when your focus is on helping others.
When you’re supporting your clients, your attention is on them. In story terms, you’re the guide—not the hero—helping them get from their problem to a better outcome. That outward focus feels good, steady, and strong. But the moment nerves kick in, it’s usually because the focus has flipped inward. You stop thinking about service and start thinking about yourself: “I’m sweating… I’m turning red… what are they thinking about me?” You go from image-conscious to self-conscious, and your presence collapses.
The antidote is appreciation—a subtle but powerful presence skill we use in communication coaching and leadership presence programs. Appreciation is both a feeling and an action. When you appreciate someone or something, your heart warms, your perspective widens, and your attention moves outward again.
You can appreciate clients, colleagues, challenges, opportunities, even moments of pressure. The key is asking yourself the question: What can I appreciate right now? That question reopens your awareness and brings your focus back to the human beings you’re here to help.
This idea comes from a long history of helping people overcome performance pressure. Early on, we taught actors how to lose their fear of the camera by literally appreciating it—seeing it not as a threat but as a partner. Later, in a strange twist, this method was used to train covert agents facing interrogation. They were taught to appreciate their interrogators—not because the person was kind, but because appreciation widened their awareness and steadied their presence under extreme conditions.
We later brought this same tool to attorneys persuading juries, and eventually to presenters in business development and client presentations. No matter the setting, appreciation consistently transforms anxiety into grounded, confident presence.
Appreciation expands your field of vision, softens tension, and reconnects you to your purpose: helping the audience in front of you. It restores warmth, humanity, and clarity—key ingredients in strong presentation coaching, interview prep, and everyday communication.
So before your next meeting or presentation, pause for a moment and quietly appreciate the people you’re about to help. It will shift your vibe instantly—and bring your confidence back online.
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