Body language communicates all the time between speakers and their audiences. We all have ideas about how we want to look, and how our audiences should look back at us.
In this post, Pete suggests that we might be dealing with these ideas in a completely backwards way, and offers a solution that you might find counterintuitive.
For additional help with your presentations, check out our Presence Coaching here.
Let’s talk about the body language of stage fright for a moment. Many professionals avoid presenting because they’re afraid their audience will see their nervousness. They worry their hands, posture, or voice will give them away. And ironically, these same people desperately want their audience to look engaged, responsive, smiling, and energized.
But here’s the trap: in an attempt to hide their nerves, they reduce their own body language. They tamp themselves down. They become less animated, less expressive, and less interesting—all in the name of not “looking nervous.” The result? They put out less energy… and they get less back from their audience. It’s a classic catch-22 that undermines confident presence, group presentation coaching, and even basic business speaking skills.
When you try to hide your nerves, you accidentally hide yourself. You stop using the natural expressiveness that helps create connection and credibility—whether you’re pitching in a shortlist interview training session, navigating hybrid presentation skills, or engaging in a high-stakes meeting.
Your reduced energy makes you look less dynamic. And because audiences mirror you, they give less energy in return. This is one of the biggest barriers we see in interview skills training for professionals across AEC and other service-driven industries.
If this pattern resonates with you, here’s the shift I want you to try: be okay with looking nervous. Truly. Choose it. Say to yourself, “Yes, I’m nervous—and I’m letting them see it.” When you let go of hiding, your natural energy comes back. You become more expressive. You become more human. And audiences respond to that humanity.
We know this because we run this exercise constantly in AEC interview preparation and business development coaching. Someone who identifies as a “really nervous speaker” gets up and speaks for one minute. Afterward, we ask them how nervous they felt. They almost always say, “Very.” Then we ask the room how nervous the speaker looked. And the room consistently says, “Not that nervous,” or even, “They looked great—engaged and energetic.”
Your audience is far more forgiving than your inner critic. And your nervousness—expressed honestly through natural presence—often reads as warmth, authenticity, and leadership presence coaching in action.
So give this a try in your next presentation, meeting, or AEC shortlist interview: allow yourself to be nervous and stay expressive anyway. Watch what happens. You may find that letting nervousness be visible helps you relax, helps you connect, and helps your audience engage far more deeply than if you tried to hide it.
Let yourself show up. Let yourself feel. And let yourself be seen.
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