Selling is such a “bad word” for so many of us, that we can’t even call it that.
But in today’s post, Dean calls it what it is, shines a light on it, and gives you the freedom to sell, without apology and without hesitation.
For more information on how we can help your team get past their self-imposed obstacles and sell for more effectively for your firm, check out our GROW-it program here.
Selling is something I genuinely love—an idea that would have shocked my younger self. For years, I believed I hated selling. Then one day on a flight, sitting in first class after an unexpected upgrade, I made small talk with the sharply dressed person next to me. I asked, “So, are you in sales?” He looked at me and said, “We’re all in sales, kid.” And he was right.
All of life is a stage, and all of life is selling—whether it’s a transaction, a recommendation, a conversation, an idea, or even deciding where to go for dinner. We’re always in a sales process of some kind. Once I accepted that truth, I realized I love selling. And I especially love selling out in the open—with confident presence, honesty, and clarity.
I used to hide the fact that I was selling. I didn’t want to seem pushy, or make people feel like a pitch was coming. Ironically, hiding the sales conversation created tension for both of us. Now, I’m upfront. I don’t pretend I’m not selling—I name it clearly. That simple shift is liberating for everyone involved.
My colleague Pete Mack often says, “Selling is helping.” When I own the fact that I’m selling, I’m free to step fully into that belief. Business development becomes an act of service, which is exactly what effective AEC interview preparation, business development training, and leadership presence coaching are all about.
When someone senses a sales conversation coming, they brace for it. You feel it. They feel it. By naming it upfront, you release the pressure and create space for a real connection. It resets the entire tone.
For example, if I’m meeting with a client I hope to grow with, I don’t wait for the “right moment.” I simply say: “Hey, this is a business development meeting—that’s why I’m here. Let’s talk about what you need.” Instantly, the conversation becomes honest, direct, and human. No waiting, no guessing, no tension.
I often say out loud, “I own a business, so business development is part of my job. I’m always in business development mode.” Once I acknowledge that, I can shift the conversation back to them—their challenges, their goals, and their opportunities.
Try this yourself. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment or letting the pitch hang in the background like fog, bring it into the open. Say, “Part of my job is business development, so let’s talk honestly about what you need.” What follows is a more authentic, more useful, and more connected conversation—one where selling and helping are the same thing.
All of life is a stage—and yes, we’re all in sales. So let’s stop hiding it and make every conversation more comfortable, more confident, and more supportive by saying it out loud.
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