There’s a reason why we call them “strangers” – not because they’re necessarily strange, but because of how it makes us feel when we meet them.
In today’s post, Pete gets down to what you can do to steer away from that feeling and increase your odds of creating a positive experience for everyone involved.
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I was leading a session about networking this week, and we were talking about how to move past that awkward, self-conscious feeling that often comes with it. The best way to get out of your head and into a good mental space when you’re networking is simple: reach out to someone else, make eye contact, and actively appreciate them.
During the session, a woman asked a really thoughtful question: “Given the state of things right now, is that such a good idea?” And I understood exactly what she meant. There are certainly gender dynamics that can come into play, and moments where one person’s intention can be misinterpreted by another. These things are real, and they’re important to be mindful of.
My take is this: keep it on a human level rather than a gender level. When you appreciate someone, appreciate them as a professional—as another person in the room worth connecting with. Appreciate them for being present, for being someone you can talk to, for simply being human. That kind of appreciation is grounded in respect and curiosity, not attraction or judgment.
Appreciation can take many forms. It can have an “attractiveness” flavor, or a “humanity” flavor. The key is to focus on the latter—to connect with people as people. When you do that, your appreciation carries a specific tone, one that is almost always received as genuine and professional.
Of course, not everyone will interpret things the same way. We can’t control how something is received, but we can be intentional in how we send it. We can manage our tone, our focus, and our presence. The more specific your intention—to connect as one human to another—the more likely that intention will come through clearly.
So my recommendation stands: when you’re networking, get out of your head. Stop worrying about yourself. Focus on someone else. Appreciate them for who they are and what they bring to the room. And as you talk, lead the conversation in a way that makes it clear this is a professional, human, authentic interaction. That’s where the awkwardness fades—and real connection begins.
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