When you’re trying to help a presentation team get ready, you need to be supportive, nurturing, and encouraging. But sometimes you have to get tough when the team is holding back or resisting practice. In this post, Dean explains the simple concepts of stepping up and getting stern when you know they need it.
To learn more about when to get tough, check out our Leadership Coaching Page here.
I’m not usually the person saying this.
Most of the time, my work in leadership presence coaching is about nurturing teams, affirming strengths, and helping people grow their skills into existence. I believe in support. I believe in encouragement. I believe in drawing out confident presence through trust.
But sometimes… you’ve got to get tough.
This happened during an intense round of shortlist interview training. It was a major pitch. Significant money at stake. A talented team. I had already done private executive presentation coaching with each individual. I knew they could deliver.
Strategically, we were clear on two things based on past feedback from the client:
Simple. Clear. Achievable.
But as we ran rehearsal after rehearsal for this AEC interview preparation, I noticed something: no one was looking at me. I wasn’t feeling their passion. I wasn’t feeling included.
And I knew they could do it.
Individually, in private coaching, each person demonstrated strong AEC presentation skills. They had the capacity for eye contact, warmth, and energy. They could absolutely deliver the presence the client was asking for.
But together, as a group?
They were tired. They were frustrated. They wanted to get back to their other responsibilities. The rehearsal felt awkward. One person even said, “I’ll do it at the interview.”
No.
If you don’t do it in rehearsal, you won’t magically do it in the room.
That’s not how group presentation coaching works. That’s not how interview skills training for professionals works. And it’s certainly not how leading AEC interviews successfully happens.
So I stopped them mid-run.
I got firm.
I said, “What is wrong with me that you won’t look at me? I’m sitting right here. You know the goal is to make me feel included. Why won’t you look at me?”
Then I told them to start again.
I said, “I don’t care what else you have going on. You are going to see me. You are going to make me feel seen. You are going to show me that you love this project. And we’re going to do it as long as it takes.”
The very next run?
Boom. They did it.
The holdup wasn’t ability. It wasn’t knowledge. It wasn’t training.
It was internal discomfort.
Sometimes teams hold back not because they don’t know how, but because it feels vulnerable to fully express themselves in front of each other. Passion can feel exposed. Direct eye contact can feel intense. Commitment can feel risky.
That’s where strong leadership presence coaching and sales pitch coaching intersect. You have to push past the internal hesitation before the big moment.
Because the big moment is not the place to hope everything magically comes together.
Whether it’s project interview preparation, shortlist interview coaching, or broader presentation support, the rehearsal room is where muscle memory is formed.
You want the team to know in their bodies that they can:
That kind of leadership confidence training requires repetition. Sometimes it requires patience. And occasionally, it requires toughness.
My default is always nurture.
Affirm. Encourage. Support.
But if a team has demonstrated the skill in executive presence coaching sessions and still won’t execute in the group setting, there comes a moment when you stop asking.
You insist.
You draw the line.
And when you do it from commitment — not ego — you can push them across that invisible threshold. You help them experience what they’re capable of.
In AEC interview skills training and high-stakes shortlist interview support, that difference matters. The rehearsal room is where greatness gets installed.
Be nurturing as long as you can.
But when it’s time to elevate the team — sometimes you’ve got to get tough.
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