If you perceive yourself to be an introvert, you probably are. But that doesn’t mean that you have to short yourself on ambition, or on making an impact in this world.
In this post, Pete shares a couple practices around eye contact that you can put in place when it doesn’t matter, so you can build your muscles for when they matter the most.
For more advice on how to build your communication and presentation skills, check out our Presence Coaching here.
I want to offer some advice to introverts.
And before we define that word too tightly, I think you get to decide whether or not you’re an introvert. Not a test. Not a psychologist. Not an expert. You.
If you experience yourself losing energy when interacting with other people — especially new people — that’s probably a good indicator. That was me. I grew up spending a lot of time alone, enjoying my internal world, and finding conversations outside my large family draining and hard to “pilot.”
So if that’s you — and you’re also ambitious, someone who wants to contribute, influence, or grow in your company — then this matters.
Because influence requires connection.
In my mid-30s, I realized I wasn’t living the life I wanted. I wasn’t connecting the way I wanted. I wasn’t influencing the way I wanted. I had the internal drive to change.
I began working closely with actors as a filmmaker. That evolved into training professionals. And something surprising happened: I learned how to listen more deeply. I learned how to lead productive conversations. I learned how to influence other people.
That journey ultimately became business development coaching and communication work with professional service firms — including AEC interview preparation and business development training for architecture, engineering, and construction teams.
And one of the biggest levers for influence?
Eye contact.
Most introverts avoid eye contact.
There’s something about it that feels rattling. Exposing. Intense.
But here’s the problem: avoiding eye contact quietly gives your power away. Whether you’re in networking training, business development communication training, or group presentation coaching, people notice where your eyes go.
Eye contact communicates confidence — or discomfort. Presence — or withdrawal.
You can’t opt out of it if you want influence.
If you’re an architect, engineer, or construction professional, don’t wait for shortlist interview training to start figuring this out.
Don’t wait for project interview preparation or a high-stakes client pitch.
In AEC interview skills training, we see this all the time: teams wait until the big moment to suddenly “turn on” their presence. That’s too late.
Confident presence is built in low-stakes environments first.
If you want to improve your AEC presentation skills, your networking skills, or your overall leadership presence coaching journey, practice when it doesn’t matter.
Start simple.
Notice what happens with your eyes in everyday interactions.
Don’t judge it. Don’t label it as good or bad. Just notice it.
In business development coaching and sales pitch coaching, awareness is always step one.
Then, experiment.
Can you hold eye contact slightly longer than you normally would?
The answer is yes. You can.
Eye contact is not a staring contest. It’s not about locking in and making someone uncomfortable. Staring isn’t the goal.
The goal is connection.
It’s about letting someone know you are seeing them. Hearing them. Enjoying them.
Practice in everyday conversations. At the coffee shop. In internal meetings. During low-pressure moments.
This is the kind of small but powerful adjustment that strengthens interview skills training for professionals and helps when leading AEC interviews or navigating shortlist interview coaching.
Being an introvert does not disqualify you from influence.
In fact, many of the best leaders I’ve worked with in AEC interview preparation and business development training are introverts. They listen deeply. They think carefully. They connect meaningfully.
But they learned to manage eye contact.
If you want to influence the room — whether in networking coaching, a project interview, or everyday business development communication training — you have to engage visually as well as verbally.
Start small. Practice when it doesn’t matter. Expand your comfort zone intentionally.
You don’t have to become someone else.
You just have to become slightly more deliberate.
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