The more you focus on them, the worse they get. In this vlog, Dean reveals the cause of the ums, and how to stop them, while becoming a more impressive speaker in the process. For more information on presentation support, click here.
Many presenters come to leadership presence coaching worried about their filler words—especially the dreaded “um.” Some have even been through Toastmasters-style counting exercises where every “um” is punished with a quarter jar or a clicker. That approach creates fear, not confident presence. It teaches people to police themselves instead of helping them communicate naturally.
Here’s the truth: ums aren’t the enemy. In filmmaking and in executive presence coaching, we know perfect characters are unrelatable. Humans connect to small imperfections. Presenters who never stumble, never pause, and never show humanity can come across as slick or distant. So the goal isn’t perfection—it’s authenticity supported by strong leadership confidence training.
The real cause of filler words is an internal metronome—a subconscious pressure to keep talking without stopping. When you don’t know your next word, your brain throws in an “um” to keep the rhythm alive. That’s where contrast becomes your best tool. Contrast is at the heart of business speaking, group presentation coaching, and virtual presentation skills coaching because it helps you break predictable patterns and create dynamic presence.
The solution is simple: practice intentional pauses. Speak at a lively pace for a moment, then slow down. Let silence do the work. Silence is a powerful part of AEC presentation skills and presentation support—it signals confidence and gives your audience time to follow you.
For example: “Hi, I’m excited to be here today… my name is Dean Hyers… and we’re going to talk about presenting. We’re going to uncover some underlying issues… that may be holding you back.” The rhythm—fast, then slow—teaches your brain to replace “um” with a meaningful pause.
Once you practice this enough, pauses become part of your natural communication style. In executive presentation coaching, we often say: people don’t know whether you’re pausing for meaning or pausing to think. They simply experience it as leadership.
So don’t punish yourself for saying an “um.” See it as a signal that you’re locked in an overly consistent rhythm. Slow down. Breathe. And allow yourself the space to think. A presenter who pauses with intention brings warmth, clarity, and a magnetic sense of Presence Coaching to every moment.
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