One of the biggest things that can get in the way of confident presence is worrying about whether your audience likes you. This is a natural concern – and in many ways, a healthy one. In this post, Pete shares how to get it out of your way.
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I’ve been working with a leader who’s right on the edge of senior leadership—just one step away—and she reports to several executives in that upper echelon. Every time she presents to them, she gets nervous because she really wants them to like her. She wants to be seen as part of their group, and that desire is getting in her way. Her boss likes her and sees her potential but can also tell that she’s trying too hard to be likable—and that effort is undermining her leadership presence.
The truth is, she’s already likable. The only thing that gets in the way of her likability is her effort to make people like her. When you’re overly focused on being liked, your energy shifts inward—you start performing instead of connecting. It’s one of the most common traps I see in professionals who are working to elevate their presentation skills and executive presence.
Instead of focusing on being liked, focus on liking your audience. Show genuine interest in them, and deliver what they want—clear, useful information that helps them do their jobs or make decisions. When you like them and give them what they need, they’ll like you naturally.
This small shift—from wanting to be liked to actively liking your audience—can transform your confidence and presence. Try it in your next meeting, interview, or pitch, and notice how the dynamic changes. You’ll come across as more grounded, authentic, and easy to follow—everything people actually like in a leader.
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