We talk about forgiveness in life, but what about in business?
You can feel held back, defeated, double-crossed, excluded, or treated rudely. The resentment that builds can be bad for you and can often involve the people you need to continue working with.
Dean tackles the topic of business forgiveness with a one-step activity that can help you actually achieve it.
In professional service firms—AEC, consulting, architecture, engineering, construction management, legal, accounting, all of it—we talk a lot about strategy, execution, project delivery, and client experience. But we almost never talk about something that quietly determines whether teams thrive or struggle: business forgiveness.
Teams are made of human beings. And human beings step on each other’s toes. Someone gets promoted and you don’t. Someone takes an opportunity you thought was yours. Someone closes a door in your face—intentionally or not. If you care about your work, if you’re emotionally invested, you’re vulnerable. And when people hurt you, even unintentionally, it sticks.
Over the years coaching professionals across architecture, engineering, construction, and management consulting, I’ve heard countless stories from people who were burned by colleagues and still carry the resentment. And here’s the thing: that resentment doesn’t hurt the other person. It hurts you.
There’s a saying: “Holding onto hate is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” In business—especially project-driven, deadline-heavy environments—teams must function together. When you carry anger or bitterness, you carry a weight that slows you down and dims your presence. That affects collaboration, communication, and even your leadership presence.
Forgiveness in business doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened. It means you are choosing to let go of the emotional burden so you can work, think, and live with more clarity.
I’ll admit something: forgiveness has never come naturally to me. My default approach has always been to wait it out—let time dull the feeling. But that’s not forgiveness; that’s erosion. True forgiveness is active. You consciously release the emotional grip of the event.
There are multi-step models for forgiveness—eight-step frameworks, writing letters you never send, structured emotional processing. They have value. But SagePresence uses a simpler starting point, a powerful single-word tool that helps leaders, interview teams, and client-facing professionals regain their power:
Appreciation.
Appreciation doesn’t mean approving what happened. It means finding something—anything—you can value in the experience. That shift opens a new emotional space. It brings back presence, resilience, and the ability to lead without heaviness.
Years ago, I was forced out of a company I had built. It was painful, humiliating, and for a long time I believed something had been taken from me. I carried that anger for years. It drained my confidence. It flattened my joy. It narrowed my professional presence.
Then one day, asking myself the appreciation question—What can I appreciate about this?—something shifted. I realized they hadn’t taken something from me; they had taken something for me. They removed me from a path that wasn’t aligned with my best work. That painful moment created space for SagePresence, for the coaching work I now love, and for a career that has far more meaning and impact.
That shift didn’t erase the hurt. But it dissolved the poison.
Appreciation reframes the story. It moves you out of being the victim of the event and into being the author of your response. That’s a powerful mindset for interview preparation, client presentations, BD conversations, and leadership communication—because presence is emotional. Your vibe communicates before your words ever do.
When you ask, “What can I appreciate here?” you unlock new interpretations:
Once appreciation becomes possible, forgiveness becomes accessible. And once forgiveness becomes accessible, your presence elevates. You become more grounded, more open, more trustworthy, and more effective—whether in a high-stakes AEC interview, a strategic client meeting, or internal leadership conversations.
In project-based industries like architecture, engineering, and construction, people rely on each other constantly. Success depends on collaboration, communication, and clarity. When resentment lives inside a team, it silently sabotages performance.
Forgiveness frees you to show up with the confidence, clarity, and emotional presence clients feel immediately. It strengthens teamwork. It improves your ability to handle feedback. And it positions you to lead with more authenticity and less defensiveness—a powerful asset in interviews, pitches, and all client-facing situations.
So ask yourself today: What can I appreciate about this? Whatever the situation is, you may discover the beginning of a path that leads not just to forgiveness—but to freedom.
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